Posted by: ivyschex | February 7, 2010

Broken: A lesson in forgiveness

Can a terrible mistake be corrected?
Can a trust, once broken, be made whole?

With horses, anything is possible…

Last November, I broke my horse’s trust and, through anger, inflicted pain on him.  Yes, I am admitting it.  I made a huge mistake.  As soon as I had done it, I felt sorrow and shame.  I felt remorse over what I had done and I came to the realization that I must never do it again.  I was working Jackson under saddle and it wasn’t going well.  Jackson didn’t do anything wrong, but for some reason, that day, I let my anger and emotions tell me that it was my horse’s fault and I took that frustration out on my horse. 

My horse had a look of fear and sorrow in his eyes and it was enough to make me want to weep.  For days, I hated myself for what I had done.  I had broken the trust of a loved one who had done no wrong and could not understand why.  Could such a wrong ever be righted?  Could such a broken trust be repaired? 

Horses do no wrong and are very quick to forgive.  When I look at Jackson, I don’t see that fear and sorrow there now.  Will that look come back?  If I forget the pain of what I did, perhaps.  However, even such a terrible breach in trust has been repaired.  It took time and feeling, but it happened. 

But there is forgiveness.  There is such a thing as repentance.  Even my doing such an evil thing as raising a hand in anger, was forgiven and the stain of it wiped away.  Nothing is too terrible to be washed clean.

Horses are one of the most forgiving animals in nature.  They can show affection and they can also show fear.  It must be our goal to always strive to gain and maintain the trust of those around us. 

I did a terrible thing that day, but the lesson I learned from it was so incredibly important.  I have remembered that day and not forgotten the consequences of it.  I am sure that the experience will drive me to never break such a trust again.

Let this lesson be learned only once…

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Responses

  1. I’ve been guilty of this in the past so I understand your anguish at breaking that trust. Congrats on regaining it.


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